Taking kids out to eat is no easy task. I find that the more I avoid it, the wilder my kids get when we finally go. Still, I have found a few tricks that help keep my kiddos happy and under control during dinner.
Give Them Some Grace
I don’t compare my kids to other children or expect them to sit perfectly still. As long as they are not bothering other guests, I try not to tell them “No” at every turn.
We often wait outside until our table is ready. This gives the kids a chance to burn off some energy first. I let them throw pebbles into a landscaped area, collect fallen leaves, or look for bugs. Sometimes, we run around and jump over cracks in the pavement.
I find that being a “cool mom” at the start helps when I need to guide their behavior later. Inside the restaurant, I may even let them play under our table, as long as they are not touching anything dirty. They can also dance in an open area away from other tables.
We always use the activities the restaurant provides. However, giving kids a little freedom can sometimes work better than correcting their every move.
Play Silly Games
At dinnertime, almost everything can become a silly game. The trick is to keep the games quiet and make sure they do not bother other guests.
One family favorite is spit-wads. Yes, we roll up small pieces of paper and shoot them through a straw! The kids can aim at our water glasses only when we have outdoor or booth seating. We also make sure the paper cannot reach other diners.
We sometimes get a few dirty looks, but the kids focus on the game. They rarely get the paper through the straw anyway. The game keeps them busy and fairly quiet while we enjoy our meal.
Another favorite is making sculptures from bread served as an appetizer. This works especially well at restaurants that serve bread at the table.
Know When to Apologize
Never underestimate the value of a simple apology. If my kids get the best of me, I apologize to the people around us and thank them for their patience.
If things become too difficult, we ask the server to box our meal and leave. I want my kids to understand that they do not need to be perfect. However, they also need to learn that some behaviors are not okay in public.
I don’t expect other people to sit through a tantrum. We also do not allow the kids to throw food or other items. When that happens, we leave.
Most people understand that kids can have difficult moments. When you make an effort to handle the situation, others are often willing to show grace.
Be Present
I try not to sit on my phone or tablet during our meal and expect my kids to behave on their own. Kids often act out when they want our attention. Even scolding can give them the attention they are seeking.
Instead, I try to stay involved and present. I talk with them, play along, and guide them when needed. What other people think about my parenting style is not the most important thing.
Being present helps me handle unfamiliar or challenging situations. Eating at a restaurant may not feel like an adventure to us, but it can feel that way to kids. They may need more minute-to-minute guidance than we expect.
With a little patience, creativity, and attention, eating out with kids can become much easier. You may not get a perfectly quiet dinner every time, but you can still enjoy the experience as a family.
